Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
Randomize
