So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
