Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize