My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
