Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
Someone came in the potted fern
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
