Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
