I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Randomize
