I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
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