so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
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