i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
