We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
