she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Randomize