Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
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