does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
Randomize
