Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
