I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
