I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
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