I am spending my child support on dildos
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
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