Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Randomize
