I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
As shirtless as possible
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
