Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
