Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Randomize
