remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Randomize
