yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Randomize
