Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
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