$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
When did angry sex become our thing?
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
