I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
