Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
