Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
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