They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize
