For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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