I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Randomize
