I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
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