we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize