I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
