Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
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