I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
