What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Randomize
