We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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