Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
