this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
