Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
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