I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Randomize
