It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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