i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
are you so shy because you have an std?
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Randomize
