Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
