a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
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