What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
