whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Randomize
