I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Randomize
