Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
I think I sprained my soul last night
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
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