remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
