HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize
