life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
