I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
I think people are normalizing furries
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize
