the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
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