hotel room ftw
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Randomize
