Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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