I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize