I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
Randomize
