everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
sex in a hospital.. check
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
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